I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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