Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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