im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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