Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
