so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
