a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
birth control should be required to get into college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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