i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
