I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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