Can Purell be used as lube?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
