just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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