Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if only i could text you this smell
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize