remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
