If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
