drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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