I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
