Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
