Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
