There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
