Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
