I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
