I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
