he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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