Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
