friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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