i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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