In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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