I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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