Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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