Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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