Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
