i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize