I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
