I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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