i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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