Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize