I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize