I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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