Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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