You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you never un-have a 4some
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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