my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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