Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
