I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
