do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Boobs are out for the taking
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
