there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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