Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
