I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
