On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
