My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
