What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
