if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
