And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize