i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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