Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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