Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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