biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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