I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you never un-have a 4some
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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