They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
