The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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