Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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