no, he came in my armpit
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
